Computers Make Your Child Depressed?!?!

Do you want your beautiful child to hate himself? Do you want your faithful child to stray from almighty God himself? Do you want your own genes to have crippling depression? This is what happens when you give your child a devil's instrument, A.K.A a computer. The Christian American Association of Social Science (CAASS) tells us that there is a direct correlation with depression and computer use. Everyone knows that using a computer causes headaches, fatigue, and poor hygiene. Up to 90% of social workers say that these symptoms put these people into a state of crippling depression. If you use and/or let your child use a computer, you are subjecting your child to disturbing MEMES, in which they refer to them as "Dank Memes". The word "Dank" references the illegal devil's cabbage, or Marijuana. And these children are exposed to that; it kills their brain cells, so they can only be happy while looking at "Dank Memes". Computers are a danger to society and the Christian faith, and no good hearted Christian should ever be exposed to that. Another correlation between the "Dank Memes" and depression is that the memes send the child's soul to the depths of burning Hell. Once the child finds out that his soul is bound to hell, they become sad and lonely. In conclusion, for the good of all Christian Americans, please do not let your child use a computer.

Example of a "Dank Meme"